Pros of dating me

  • i’m rly soft and squishy
  • i’ll make you hot beverages in bed
  • i’m good at compliments
  • you’ll gain lots of dorky pet names

Cons of dating me

  • ummm??
  • zero i am a goddess

Spiciest Wedding Dresses >
'Before you self-diagnose yourself with depression, make sure you’re not indeed simply surrounded by assholes'

lunch time nom nom 🍓👌



remember like 2 years ago when christmas stopped feeling like christmas for some reason

This is so sad and true




what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
'Someone asked me what home was and all I could think of were the stars on the tip of your tongue, the flowers sprouting from your mouth, the roots entwined in the gaps between your fingers, the ocean echoing inside of your ribcage.'
— E.E. Cummings (via skeletales)